Surprise, Surpise
by Emily Rai
Summary: Puck and Kurt have a threesome with Santana, but with their luck things don't go quite as smooth as they would hope... MPreg
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Whelp sorry it this sucks…I'm not all that great at writing threesomes and I'm hoping that it's not too terrible.

Oh and I don't own anything other than the plot.

XxXx

Puck grinned at his boyfriend as he looked up from his phone screen. Kurt raised an eyebrow at the mohawked boy in question. Instead of saying anything Puck just flipped the phone around to show him the message.

_From: Satan_

_3sum?_

Kurt's eyes widened momentarily before a grin spread across his face. He typed out a quick 'yes' and hit send, smirking when Puck's eyes widened in pleased surprise.

"Have I told you lately that I love you?" Puck said grinning and presenting the other boy with a kiss.

"I love you too, but I get to screw Satan." Kurt said leering at him. "You're dick is for me and me alone."

Puck groaned quietly as a picture of Kurt between Santana's legs, pounding into her, popped into his head."Fuck that's hot."

Kurt chuckled and kissed Puck's cheek as he pulled out his phone. 

_To: Satan_

_My place. Now._

Puck's eyes seemed to widen comically as he read the message over Kurt's shoulder. The smaller boy simply smiled at him and leaned back onto his broad chest, grinding their hips together before pulling away when he heard the doorbell.

Santana stood smirking on his porch, licking her lips as Kurt's eyes raked over her appreciatively before stepping aside to let her in. She strode past him calmly, her short dress riding up slightly as she swayed her hips provocatively.

Kurt followed her, his eyes never leaving her ass on their way down to his basement where Puck was waiting for them, his shirt lying on the floor already. "Hey Satan," he said grinning at the two of them.

The three of them fell easily into bed together, becoming nothing more than a tangle of limbs. Kurt found himself wedged between Santana and Puck; he gasped as he felt lips trail down his chest and wound his fingers through the long dark locks he was presented with, while behind him Puck mirrored Santana's actions. He could feel his arousal growing with every press of lips basking in the feel for a time before rolling so the Latina was below him and Puck just to the side, the Jewish boy didn't even bat an eye at the sudden change following his boyfriends lead as they began pleasuring the girl before them.

Kurt pulled two condoms and the lube out of his nightstand as Santana moaned wantonly beneath him. He passed one of the condoms to Puck along with the lube before rolling his own on, a gasp escaping him as he felt two fingers pressed into him. His head dropped to Santana's shoulder and her fingers massaged his scalp to keep him relaxed through the burn as Puck stretched him. As a third finger was added Kurt bit down on Santana's shoulder and shifted his hips causing the head of his dick to press into Santana's cunt.

"Nnngh…" Santana moaned and pressed down further onto Kurt's dick, a moan forced itself past his lips at the sensation distracting him long enough for Puck to remove his fingers and replace them with his dick.

They faltered shortly, their thrusts out of sync for a moment before they evened out and moved together. Their moans all bled together and filled the room with the sound of it. They sped up frantically as their orgasms approached, the three of them collapsing in a heap together afterword.

"I didn't think you had it ya Lady Face…" Santana said her breath coming in short pants.

Kurt rolled his eyes and tossed his condom towards the trash at the same time Puck. "Wish you had known sooner?"

Puck grinned as Kurt leered at her for a moment before flopping back onto the bed his head landing on Puck's shoulder. One of Puck's arms wound around his waist, pulling him closer.

"Oh gag me, you too are way to lovey dovey," Santana groaned as she started pulling her clothes back on.

Kurt grinned at her and made a point of draping himself over Puck more fully. "You enjoy watching us and you know it. Otherwise you wouldn't have done this," Kurt said looking at her pointedly.

"Shut it Porcelain," she said making a face at him before waving at the two of them and walking out.

"That was awesome." Puck said as he kissed Kurt slowly pulling the blankets over them and cuddling the smaller boy closer.

XxXx


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Onto the next chapter. Hope you guys are liking it so far…  
Thanks to for reviewing, CheshireKitKat I hope that you're still reading and this chapter should clear up your confusion :)

Still don't own anything.

XxXx

The first time Santana bolted from Glee rehearsal with a hand pressed over her mouth everyone just assumed it was just a bug. However when it continued to happen Quinn slowly started to get an amused glint in her eyes much to everyone else's confusion.

The glint turned vicious the moment Kurt went running after her, the same expression on his face. There was only one way the two of them were both getting sick, constantly. They were knocked up and Quinn would be willing to bet that they were knocked up by the same person, which when brought to light would set the two of them against said person.

The blonde smirked to herself as she stood by the sinks in the girls restroom, listening to the twin sounds of retching followed by the toilets flushing before Santana and Kurt appeared from the stalls. They both looked at her in surprise trying to figure out why she would be there.

"So do you have some sort of schedule where you share Puckerman or did you not know about it?" Quinn asked sweetly as they looked at each other.

"She is certifiably insane." Kurt said rolling his eyes at the Latina who nodded minutely as they moved to clean themselves up.

"Don't play dumb. We all know that Puck and Santana like to get it on and he's the only guy that would get with another guy in this school and it's obvious that the two of you are knocked up." Quinn growled at them a frown marring her face.

"I see what's happening. You're still pissed at Puckerman because you were a stupid bitch that cheated on your boyfriend and got yourself dumped." Santana said laughing out loud at the other girl.

"I don't know what you're talking about…"

"Lying isn't a good look for you Quinn. I can assure you that neither of us is going to help you torture Noah so you might as well give up the idea now." Kurt said calmly picking up his bag and linking pinkies with Santana before leaving the bathroom in search of Puck.

"We have to get tested." Santana whispered her lips right against Kurt's ear as the boy nodded grabbing the back of Puck's shirt pulling him away from where he was talking to Mike Chang much to the confusion of everyone in the area.

"What's up guys?" Puck asked stopping the flirtatious comment before it could force itself past his lips when he saw the serious looks on both of their faces.

Kurt shook his head and continued pulling him along; they couldn't talk about this here. "We need to talk, in privet."

Santana nodded unlinking her pinkie from Kurt's so she could climb into the passenger seat of his Nav. Puck looked at the two of them in confusion as he climbed in the back and Kurt started driving, none of them speaking until they were seated together on Kurt's bed.

"Guys what's going on?" Puck asked a slight undertone of worry lacing his voice.

"We think we're pregnant." Santana blurted staring up at the ceiling her arms wrapped tightly around her still flat midsection.

"Satan you're pregnant?" Noah asked choking on his own spit.

"We think so…we also think that I might be as well…" Kurt said his own eyes glued to his nails.

Puck to a deep breath to calm himself. It would be just their luck that they have one night of fun together and two condom malfunctions, at the same time. "Alright. So am I taking you two to the Doctor or am I lifting a couple of tests from the Seven Eleven?"

Santana and Kurt both let out shaky breaths they hadn't realized they were holding, finally turning their eyes to meet Puck's. After a moment Santana spoke up, "Lift a couple for us, no need to get any rumors started by the three of us showing up at an OBGYN before we gotta."

Kurt nodded his assent pressing a kiss to Puck's cheek before the bigger boy got off the bed heading up the stairs. He and Santana both just sat there their fingers laced together in a tight grip as if trying to ground each other.

It seemed like hours before Puck reappeared before them, pulling two pregnancy tests out of his jacket pocket and offering one to each of them. They disappeared into the bathroom one at a time, the both of them perching on the very edge of the bed while they watched the time tick by in anticipation while Puck paced at the end of the bed.

When the timer finally went off Kurt and Santana walked back to the bathroom their hands still clasped together.

"Well fuck…" Santana's voice carried easily out to Puck as she and Kurt stared at the two positive tests in their hands.

"So I guess this means we're coming out?" Puck asked moving to stand in the door of the bathroom.

"…And everyone is going to know about our threesome…" Kurt said his voice weak from the thought of it. "Oh god…what am I going to tell my dad!"

"So much for keeping that quiet…" Santana said quietly leaning her head on Kurt's shoulder. "…I don't think I'm ready to be a mom…"

"You wanna…" Puck started to ask but couldn't force the words past his lips.

"No…but I can't raise a kid…" She said shaking her head.

"I'll raise them. Both of them." Kurt said immediately as he wrapped an arm around her waist keeping one hand pressed against his still flat stomach.

The three of them tensed when they heard the front door open and slam closed, signifying Burt's arrival home. "Kurt?" He called out, already starting down the stairs.

"Hey dad…" Kurt said forcing himself to stay calm as the man in question came to a stop at the bottom of the stairs.

"What's going on down here?" Burt asked looking at the three of them in concern.

"Maybe you should sit down dad…we need to talk to you…" Kurt said extracting himself from where he was sat between Puck and Santana.

"Are you kids okay? Are you hurt?" Burt asked sitting on Kurt's vanity chair.

"I'm just gonna come right out and say this since I'm not sure how else to approach it…I'm pregnant…and I got Santana pregnant as well…" Kurt rambled looking anywhere except at his father.

Burt seemed to chock on air as he sucked in a shocked breath. Coughing and spluttering he stared wide eyed at the three teens before him, trying to formulate a response to what they had just told him.

"Mr. Hummel?" Puck asked jumping of the bed and moving to pat the man on the back in an attempt to stop his choking.

"Dear God…you three…" Burt mumbled more to himself than anything as his breathing finally got back to normal.

The three of them stayed quiet while he processed it all. His eyes shifted between the three of them continually before he took a deep calming breath and pushed himself off of the chair. He looked between the three of them once more before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around Kurt tightly.

"I'm sorry dad…" Kurt mumbled his face pressed into Burt's shoulder, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. He sobbed quietly fisting his hands into the fabric of his shirt, as Burt rubbed his back soothingly.

"Hey shhh, it's okay buddy…"Burt said calmly kissing his head and watching as Santana launched herself into Puck's arms choked sobs ripping from her throat. "Everything is gonna be okay."

"Can I just say that I am never buying those condoms again," Puck joked trying to lighten the mood.

Burt snorted rolling his eyes at the mohawked teen, while Santana's tears slowed and Kurt groaned in embarrassment.

"Really Noah?" the smaller boy asked pulling away from his father to glare at his boyfriend.

"What? It's true, not one but two of them failed!" Puck said sticking his tongue out at the other boy while.

"He's got a point…" Santana said pulling herself away from Puck, straightening her hair as she did so.

Burt just shook his head at them, "If anyone could end up in this situation it would be you three." He said grinning at them and heading for the stairs.

XxXx


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt's leg bounced quickly his anxiety showing clearly. It was possible that telling his peers was more nerve wracking than telling their parents had been. Santana's parents had taken the news surprisingly well, and were extremely supportive of their decision for Kurt to keep his and Santana's baby.

Mrs. Puckerman on the other hand had closed off from her son and was refusing to speak to him so he had basically moved into Kurt's room with him. On the bright side that meant Finn knew about the situation and they had his support.

"Alright guys, Kurt and Santana you guys had an announcement?" Mr. Schue said looking at the two of them.

Quinn coughed a laugh her eyes sparkling at the two of them as they stood and moved to stand in front of them.

"The two of us are both pregnant." Santana said crossing her arms over her chest, bitch face firmly in place as they stared out at everyone.

"Who's the dad?" Quinn asked smirking evilly at them, she was sure they were both about to say Puck.

"Puck, is the father of mine…" Kurt said calmly giving a short smile to the mohawked boy.

"And Kurt is the father of mine." Santana finished, she couldn't help the triumphant smirk that settled on her face as everyone's jaws dropped in shock.

"How is that even possible?!" Rachel screeched as everyone nodded in agreement. "Kurt is the gayest person I've ever met!"

"Quite frankly I'm horribly offended. No matter how gay I may be I am in fact still a boy, meaning I do have a penis." Kurt said glaring out at them.

"But you aren't into girls…" Mercedes said trailing off as she seemed to realize what exactly had gone on between the three of them. "Oh. My. God."

"Plenty of gay guys have sex with women thanks. Just because they don't normally do it for me doesn't mean that I can't make it work."

"Alright…I'd say that's enough of that…" Mr. Schue said as he finally snapped out of his state of shock.

"But Mr. Schuester we can't just ignore the tension between the three of them! I'm sure Puck is furious to find out that Kurt cheated on him with Santana!" Rachel interjected looking at the Jewish boy expectantly.

"Oh please, nobody cheated on anybody in this whole ordeal Berry." Santana said rolling her eyes at the other girl. "Kurt isn't the type of guy that would cheat on anybody."

"He's also not the type of guy to screw a girl…" Quinn muttered not bothering to keep her voice low.

"Oh for the love of god! We had a fucking threesome alright?!" Kurt snapped rolling his eyes to the ceiling as shocked gasps filled the room.

"You're joking…" Artie said staring at them in complete shock.

"Nope, it's the truth." Puck said standing up and moving to stand beside Kurt, his arm sliding around the slighter boys waist.

"Good God…they're telling the truth!" Sam's eyes were wide as he said it, it seemed to sink in with everybody else that they were telling the truth.

Mr. Schue just blinked owlishly at them unsure of how to respond to this. His jaw worked furiously as he tried to say something but no words escaped.

"It was a onetime thing, so please try not to get all weird on us." Kurt said calmly wringing his hands together nervously.

"Why it's not like you didn't get weird on us," Quinn snapped at him.

"I'm sorry if you're uncomfortable with what we did in our free time Quinn, but last I knew that all of us supported you when you got knocked up when you cheated on your boyfriend and iced out the father of your baby." Kurt snapped glaring at the blonde before turning and walking out of the room.

"I've gotta agree with Kurt on this Quinn. It's their business whether or not they screw around together, the three of them agreed to it and Kurt and Santana got knocked up and all that's left for us to do is support them as much as we supported you." Finn said going up and wrapping his arms around both Puck and Santana.

"At least they were honest about it," Mercedes agreed while Tina nodded giving a Quinn a calculating look.

"Right, I think that's enough excitement for today. I'm sure we can all agree that while unexpected the three of them have our full support in this situation! And on that note have a nice weekend!" Mr. Schue cut in recovering from his shock just in time to stop whatever Quinn might try and retaliate with.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry this took so long, and i'm also sorry that it's such a short update but I felt like I needed to give you something for now. I've got rough outlines for my current stories so I'm trying to get them ironed out so they're easier to go off of and so I'll hopeful be able to get into a more regular updating schedule. **

XxXx

Kurt huffed in annoyance as he futilely tried to button his jeans. Giving up he flung himself onto the bed as he felt the beginnings of tears forming in his eyes. He had told Noah last week that he needed to go shopping but he hadn't listened insisting that they had time for that later and now he didn't have anything that fit aside from him pajama's and he couldn't very well walk around wearing those all the time.

So here he was, laying on his bed crying and unable to button his pants, all because his stupid boyfriend hadn't taken him shopping. He might have gone with Mercedes but in addition to the fact that she almost always had plans these days, the smell of her favorite perfume tended to make him sick to his stomach, granted she would probably stop wearing it if he mentioned it but being as he had already banned all fragrances in the house he figured he was pushing his luck by trying to extend it to the Glee club as well. Not to mention the fact that it was a fairly popular scent so she wasn't the only one at school wearing it so there wasn't much point in asking her to refrain.

Santana would have been his next choice but these days it seemed like if he wasn't puking his guts up she was, or they were setting each other off and the both of them were bent over either a toilet or a bucket of some kind. Plus the small amount of time that the two of them weren't puking they were so exhausted from it all they really wanted to do was curl up and eat ice cream while watching 'Kitchen Nightmares'.

Next would be Brittany normally but since they announced the pregnancies whenever he was anywhere near the blonde she was rubbing his belly or talking to the baby, which was sweet and he loved that she was so supportive of them but he needed his space. Plus he couldn't exactly shop with Brittany crouched down in front of him so she could better speak with his unborn child.

Tina had plans with Mike everyday for probably the next three years which left the two of them out because they were generally to enraptured by each other to actually spend any sort of time with anyone else. Sam was usually watching his younger siblings from the time he got home until he dropped them off at school in the morning. Artie didn't really go anywhere without Brittany so he was out. He and Quinn weren't on speaking terms right now, not that they had ever been close to begin with. He wouldn't ask Rachel's opinion on clothes if his life depended on it, goodness knows she would likely find something as awful as she would wear herself and slip that into whatever he was buying. If he asked Finn to come along while he would have somebody to carry all his bags he would also likely be stuck with Rachel tagging along.

Blaine was really the only other person that he knew but their friendship had been strained between them since Kurt had told him about his relationship with Noah. And while Kurt wanted the closeness of their friendship back he didn't think asking the guy he friend zoned to go shopping with him for maternity clothes was the greatest idea in the world.

Which brought him right back to being lying on his bed alone with his pants undone, crying. He had come ill circle and he was absolutely no closer to a solution than when he had first been unable to fasten his pants.

Just when he was sitting up to find his pajama's once more Noah came strolling leisurely down the basement steps a smile plastered across his face as if he had all the time in the world to do whatever he pleased. "Hey babe…" He started to say only to be cut off by the pillow closest to Kurt being flung squarely into his face without any warning whatsoever. "…and that was for…?"

"None of my pants fit!" Kurt wailed his bottom lip wobbling dangerously. "I told you I needed to go shopping and you didn't listen!"

"So let's go shopping right now then," Noah said easily trying to stave off Kurt's tears.

"And how am I supposed to go shopping when I can't even button my pants! I can't just go out without any pants on Noah!"

"Just wear your pajama pants until we buy you some new stuff…or we could think of something else…" Noah said back tracking hastily when he saw Kurt's scandalized expression at the mere mention of wearing his pajama's outside of the house.

Scanning the room in an attempt to find some sort of solution Noah landed on his letterman jacket. It wasn't exactly cold enough out to warrant a jacket but it would only be until they got Kurt some clothes that fit. Plus it's not like it was completely unheard of to wear a jacket when it wasn't necessary heck Kurt wore all those other fancy jackets all the time just because that Jacobs dude made them.

"You have got to be kidding me," the pregnant boy said forming as he followed the other teens gaze. "It's too hot out for a jacket."

"It's either that or your pajama's babe, its up to you which one you wanna do."

Kurt debated for a moment; his eyes flashing back and forth between the red jacket and his pajama bottoms before he finally stood with a resigned sigh, pulling the jacket over his shoulders and fastening it just enough so nobody could tell that his pants weren't fastened.

"I'm not happy about this." Kurt said glaring at his smirking boyfriend.

"But it's a good look for you, shows everyone else that your mid and they don't stand a chance with you."

"Because I have oh so many suiters lining up to fight over me and attempt to steal me away from you." Kurt said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes as he crossed his arms self consciously over his chest.

"If you had any idea how many people, men and women alike, stare at your ass on a daily basis you would understand my point of view. Now lets get this over with, the sooner we get you some new clothes the sooner I can get them off of you." Noah said with a smirk as he grabbed Kurt's hand and led him out of the house.

XxXx


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt could handle the staring and whispering as he walked down the halls at school, really he could, he'd been subjected to enough of it over the last few years that it didn't even phase him anymore. What he couldn't handle was Quinn: standing surrounded by a group of people spouting off about how the child he was carrying, as well as the child Santana was carrying were bastards and were being born from great sin.

"Quinn Fabray you are the biggest hypocrite I have ever had the displeasure of knowing." Kurt said his voice icy as he came to a stop in front of the blonde in the hallway. At his statement everyone around them seemed to stop and stare.

"I'm sorry but I don't associate with sinners so if you could keep moving. Thanks." She replied with a sneer marring her face.

"Really, you of all people are going to play that card?" Kurt snorted rolling his eyes. "You are quite potentially the biggest sinner in this school. In addition to being an all around bitch, you cheated on your boyfriend with his best friend, got pregnant out of wedlock, then proceeded to lie to everyone about who the father of your child was, and then you were going to give your baby to Mr. Schuster's wife who was pretending to be pregnant without even giving the baby's father a choice in the matter."

"I was drunk…" Quinn started in an attempt to defend herself.

"Oh please, you had a couple of wine coolers. I've seen you drink before and it takes more than that to get you drunk. Not to mention alcohol lowers your inhibitions it doesn't completely remove them. You knew that sleeping with him was wrong and as much of a jerk as Noah can be at times if you had told him to stop he would have. You just didn't want him to and instead of acting like an adult you blamed it all on him so people would see you as a victim."

"How dare you make accusations like that! You think you're so much better than everybody in this town, always going on about how we're going to work for you one day, but we aren't because you're just as much of a Lima Loser as your stupid boyfriend and everyone else in this town." There was a malicious smile on Quinn's face as she spat the words at him obviously thinking that she would strike a nerve there.

"And that's where you're wrong Q, Porcelain has more talent in his little finger than you or anyone else in this school will ever have. He's going to get out of this place if he has to mohawk out kicking and screaming by his stupid nipple ring, and he's going to do it while taking care of not one but two kinds and he's not going to complain about how this is all God's way of punishing him ." Sue said as she rounded the corner leveling Quinn with a look of disdain that she normally saved for Will Shuster alone.

"You can't speak to me like that, I'm a student!" Quinn screeched her malice quickly melding away into outrage. "I could go to the school board and have you fired! I've got witness' of your verbal abuse."

"Oh do you now?" Sue asked pointedly looking around the hallway that had cleared out as soon as she walked around the corner. On herself, Quinn and Kurt were let standing there. "I don't think you've got much of a chance of Porcelain helping you out on this one considering you were just insulting him a minute ago. But good luck with that."

Without another word Sue strolled casually down the hall leaving the two teens on their own, Quinn glowering after her before switching her glare to Kurt when she could no longer see her former Cheerleading Coach.

"Your child is an abomination and should never have existed. It goes against God." Quinn said haughtily turning away from the other teen.

"You are a real piece of work Quinn. The bible says to love your neighbor as yourself, it never says that it's okay to be awful to them if they sin. It just says to love them and I don't think anyone in this world has ever felt an ounce of love from you. What would your God say to that?"

"God says in Leviticus chapter 18 verse 22 that men are not to have sexual relations with other men as they do with women because it's detestable. Which makes you detestable." Quinn rattled off keeping her back to him.

"I'm well aware of that Quinn, trust me you aren't the first Christian to point it out to me, what none of you seem to remember is that in Romans chapter 2 verse 1 "You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things."" with that said Kurt walked off leaving Quinn rooted to the spot she had paused in to try tear him down some more.

As he turned the corner he found himself face to face with the rest of the Glee club staring at him with puzzled looks on their faces, aside from Noah who was grinning as he wrapped an arm around his boyfriends waist.

"How can you just quote the bible like that? You don't even believe in God." Artie asked frowning Kurt as he tried to make sense of it.

"Just because I don't believe in God doesn't mean that I can't be educated on religion. Besides my personal beliefs have nothing to do with what my parents believe. When I was younger we used to go to church every Sunday, until somebody told my mother about some half way house she could send me to in an attempt to fix me so that I would be more like the other boys."

Puck smirked at the rest of the club and squeezed he boyfriend momentarily before speaking. "Let's get out of here babe, it's my turn to pick the movie."

"I refuse to watch any horror films. Do not even think about suggesting one of those." Kurt said sharply even as he allowed the bigger boy to pulling him towards the parking lot.


End file.
